ive been sending my husband naked pics of my whole body from my phone..its a work phone. do you think our boss can see? if so, im either getting fired, or a raise.
9 beers later and she still looks like Gary Busey.
Being this Hungover on Easter has brought my closer to Jesus... I swear he had to feel shitty like this after coming back from the dead
I got carried out by security last night. AND the taxi had to drive up onto the sidewalk to get me i was that drunk.
Had sex with him again...yikes. and the whole time he kept saying "i wish we could do this forever." Forever lasted about 45 seconds
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
I brought those bastards cookies so they can deal with my sex noise, fuck them and their roommate asses
Ex-boyfriend shit on a ping pong table at a party last night. Taking "party pooper" to a whole new level.
i'm sitting in my room 'bout to smoke a bowl. also, i found out that you don't need a permit to own a tiger in wisconsin, so we're buying one when we move in together.
im going to smoke a cigarette and reflect on my life choices
I’m honestly just flattered that you think I could make PornHub’s Top 10.
Just because you got dumped by some loser doeant mean you need Jesus. It just means you need better friends and some booze
I don't want to hook up with him sober. That's pretty much like saying I love you.
getting my period the day i moved was my bodies way of saying 'congratulations youre not leaving town with anybodies babies!'
Don’t eat the Doritos. Jeff was eating them while he was watching porn
Randomize
