Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
Were at her birthday dinner and her dad keeps buying me shots saying when I was your age I fucked the shit outta girls
Hahahahahaha remind him your dating his daughter
DO NOT EAT ONE OF DONOVANS WEED RICE CRISPIES. I REPEAT DO NOT EAT IF YOU VALUE YOUR EYE BALLS
Tell me you didn't really piss in the hookah.
There's an old guy having a conversation with his penis in the bathroom right now.
I wore a bird inflatable and still got laid. So there's that.
Slutty summer 2013 has officially started. I did accidentally bite a dick though.
I'M SO LONELY THAT I TEXTED THE FRESHMAN
Well, maybe we can talk about it over a drink and some crushed up vicodin.
What could go wrong? i could have a mental breakdown with a bottle of champagne hand cuffed to a frat bro
Idk I saw a cheetah print onesie and it reminded me of your Lion King fantasy.
It's almost 5am and all I can keep thinking is IT'S WHISKEY TIME!!
...this is why fuck buddies should be only for grownups.
there is glitter all over my balls
Want a bet? I'm a kinky and determined motherfucker with a libido that is not easily stopped
Randomize
