I love you and miss you, which in no way dimishes how much I hate the person you turned out to be, but I still love and miss you.
sometimes i wish i was the girl in a porno. that way if i couldn't get any, i'd just order a pizza and do him.
my cat ate my toast this morning while i was getting dressed. i can already tell today is going to suck.
I just negotiated a blow job for an interview.
i shit in a pringles can and hid it somewhere in your house....happy hunting
He put crushed up bacon in the joint and now we're listening to the Matilda soundtrack I have no idea what's going on
did you not get the photos of the finger bruises on my ass?
I'm all for hockey players but dude, he asked me to lick his chipped tooth mid-hook up.
It was his birthday and he drunkenly offered me Portillo's and diamonds in exchange for a snap chat of my boobs. Even sober it seemed like a good idea at 3 in the morning.
The golf course isn't that incognito for sex.
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
Oh it's tea and biscuits for everyone. An possibly pink eye
Seriously dude...who threw up on Michelle? She's been crying for like an hour
We're going to ride the bus of mixed signals all the way to unrequited love town and that's where I'm going to live my life and then die.
so.. he paid for my flight to vegas, took me to shows, bought my drinks and STILL rescued my drunk ass after i ditched him. i HAD to cuddle with him this morning.. fair exchange, right?!
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