its time to go be "that drunk guy nobody knows"....again.
I am drunk as shit eating pancakes. I am not the person to call.
I am drinking ovaltine with peppermint schnapps. My childhood could have been so much better.
you told me heaven would be the 3 of us at Moe's forever and every hot girl that walked in would ask us to play stone face
Never have I ever before welcomed her period with such enthusiasm. She was starting to pick out baby names. She got me "What to Expect When You're Expecting."
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
Good thing it was his birthday because I accidentally grabbed his dick at the bar. A lot.
Just gave some kid head in the library. Perfect way to end the semester.
I gave him head while he watched NASCAR. My future flashed before my eyes.
Im embracing the luau theme and maybe bringing a kiddie pool filled with alcohol. Im also embracing the high probability I will not remember this night.
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
These pissing matches have to stop. They led to last night's scotch through the nose shots. I'll never smell again.
Everything is just really out of control. I hear puking from three different parts of the house. Roger has black eye from being punched. Kaiser tried shaving his head, but somehow burned himself. Music is bumping, but everyone is either puking and calling out for help or blacked the fuck out.
He wore socks while I was giving him head. I couldn't even focus on his penis because of the socks.
I think I gave a random lady a dildo
Again?!
Randomize
