So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
please tell me you didn't have sex with him in the bathroom...
Does an alley count?
I'm pretty sure I just overheard my boss call his sperm precious metal...
In order of importance: Where am I? Where's my car? Where are my clothes? Who is this chick in the room?
Anne's couch, the bar, your car, Anne.
Too high to move please buy hi-c and pour it in my mouth in exchange I will marry your first born child
I'm back here naked if anyones wondering
I don't want random pictures of your morning wood. It's like, what a glorious morning oh a penis.
I think I've forgotten how to blink. Help plz?
Now that it's fall I have to prepare for the imminent arrival of ripped up sweatpants shoved into folded over sequined uggs
There's hope in those eyes, for a better tomorrow or more cocaine, we may never know, but there's hope.
When she's hammered the amount of alliteration that comes out of her mouth is amazing.
She woke up with her hand super glued to the fridge....how the hell am I Supposed to get her off??
Hypothetical question: Would it be wrong to tell the annoying children who don't listen to their parents that the motel is haunted?
I know we agreed to cock block each other from now on buttt I WANT this one. I have felt his penis, it is godly, and I am going to have it inside of me, so shut the fuck up and leave.
Randomize
