I didn't talk to you tonight because I've decided you look like a man.
Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
Why does every girl think its ok to cheat on their boyfriends with me?
So I'm really hungover walking to work and these douches from comcast on bikes ask if they can take a picture with me to show that they're doing their job. The picture: me, this chick from comcast, i'm holding a 2 ft. pixie stick, a comcast flyer and i'm puking in the parking lot. sounds like their doing a good job!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you poured 3 beers into an empty vase and then passed out, so i drank them for you. don't say i'm not a good friend.
I don't think anyone could emotionally handle a numb vagina.
There was a lot going on. It was easy to miss a 70 foot tall puppet.
my first words to him the next morning were "do you like magic"?
Perfect. Let's do that. I'm thinking everclear and green dye as our base. We shud start from there
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
wow. there is a man who hates the post office more than me. he is causing a scene, this is a snapshot of elderly me.
Definition of cool: he wants a back tattoo of three horses running through a "paisley explosion"
How did he even become this person? Like what drugs has he done??
My greatest achievement in life thus far is being the go to friend when you have questions about butt plugs.
Putting plan B on my parents credit card wasn't the smartest idea
The only words I could make out were "Dicksmash McIroncock".
So he apologized for peeing on my floor.. then we fucked all night.
Real classy
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