Saw a dead body on the way to the casino. I think that's a good sign.
I was just standing there and then BOOM! She was attacking my face with her mouth.
I don't get it, man. She treated me like a sexual predator but treated you like a piece of meat.
So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
If someone cleans their bathroom and shaves their crotch for you you kinda have to admit the relationship to facebook
He came out in cowboy boots and underpants holding a beer while he hugged my mom. I love Montana.
This lumberjack with a huge beard is doing his group presentation in a dirty t shirt that says "I'm only 2 girls short of a threesome"
Kinda forgot to grab tampons. Mind if I run to my house to get one? I'd rather not turn my green skinny jeans Christmas colors
jut tell him gently that you'd rather spend more time with his dick than his face
Sarah is throwing up still and I'm eating salad with my fingers
we are not taking body shots with the irish cream
i'm just really offended he didn't want to have breakup sex. like that was the only thing i was really looking forward to
You are driving me to get new toys, i am test driving them on the way home.
We are taking your truck.
I couldn't find a water bottle, so I sent her to school with her juice in a flask. Who the hell let me become a parent?
Oh you mean the girl that gave me a black eye when I told her I liked her fake eyelashes?
I just gave a fucking twenty minute blowiob.. I'm a GOOD girlfriend.
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