So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
He told me i was the nicest person he's ever arrested for DUI
i really thought "pants-shitting drunk" was an unreachable level until last night
We had literally Just finished having sex when he handed me a plan B and said he lied about wearing a condom.
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
Hypothetically, if a stripper with braces bites you on the cleavage and it leaves an open wound, do you need a tetanus shot?
He smashed a plastic chair leg on a tree stump, threw himself into the side of our metal enclosure, stomped on the wreckage for a bit and then punched the fire.
Don't worry, the house smells like waffles more than sex
You walked in wearing nothing but a beekeeper mask
GDI YOU HAVE THE GOD OF FUCKING THUNDER'S NUDES AND YOU DIDN'T SHARE
We took vodka shots. You kept saying it was the key to your heart.
I just swiped right for a guy on Tinder solely because it looked like he was holding Zoboomafoo
I couldn't find my hair brush so I just brushed my hair with a cat brush. I should not be dating.
So as you were leaving, you leaned on the table too much and 3 glasses slid and fell to the floor. You then looked at me and said "To be honest, glass isnt that expensive anyways" and stumbled out of the bar.
I find nice boys who are in extremely long term relationships with nice girls, wait for them to break up, and sneak in for the rebound fucking.
You are like a terrifying jaguar of sex. Predatory.
Randomize
