I'm pretty sure we've had sex a bunch more times than we've hugged. So hugs are weird when they happen.
Is it bad that we're talking like nothing happened?
Ah. Blossoming love after wild blackout drunk sex.
Im going home to examine my vagina with a hand mirror. wish me luck.
So I realized I'm not completely sober when the automatic toilet flushed and I screamed
...he tried to burn down someone's house once. ABORT ABORT ABORT
The police woke me up so they had no choice but to see my morning wood.
we're meeting twins and drinking tequila. i love life
A valentines day commercial would come on while I'm masturbating...
HE'S LICKING FROSTING OFF OF THE EIGHTEEN YEAR OLD BOY
BUT YOU MUST FINISH YOUR QUEST
TO FIND THE HOLY GRAIL
AND GET DRUNK OFF YOUR ASS BY DRINKING OUT OF IT
I am truly sorry that you have to put your dog down. He was a great dog, and a great friend. I am still not showing you my tits.
Dude she's from Moscow. I feel like I'm cheating on America.
Went to take a shower. Brought my wine, forgot my towel.
well at least you got laid last nighT. I woke up on a pile of laundry
I'm not just straddling the line between love and hate, I'm dry humping the shit out of it
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