Dude I just figured out the mystery flavor of airhead is vodka sprite, no way i'm wrong
I just saw some girl with the liscense plate "OBVIII"...I never wanted to get in a car accident so badly.
My doctor just informed me that my food allergies qualify me for a medical marijuana license. I get it on Tuesday. It won't help at all, but my life is awesome!
the theme of the baby shower is Nightmare On Prego Street
just put an icicle in the bong. best/worst idea ever. i think i can taste global warming right now.
Watched him slip somethin into her drink. Dragged him of his bar stool, punched him out, and told her what i saw. Bartender used some chemical to confirm presence of rophynol. Just woke up at her place
We fucked in his mom's shower and all I could think about was being too old to be sneak banging while someone's mom was out of town and how much mildew was on the shower curtain. Fuck you, Adulthood.
Thank you. Next to bondage, soft American Apparel t-shirts are the best things you've taught me about.
Exactly man. Who needs doctors when you have vodka and hot knives.
the next thing I knew, I was on the floor of a Tim Hortons bathroom in Canada.
Is there evidence of another human being getting away with this/ not dying?
And today, on Faces I'd Like to Sit On .... The starting line up of the German National Football team
You should have just fucked me in the bathroom when you had a chance!
He’s really fucking cute. Like, I want his penis in my mouth cute.
the twins are trying to figure out which one is the one doing body shots off a janitor in this picture
Randomize
