he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
i can totally see doctors naming an STD after you
i was just skypeing her and i saw the vagisil medicated wipes in the corner of her room. i'll be breaking this off tomorrow
DO NOT FUCK HIM ON MY BEAN BAG CHAIR
if things do not go as planned you should see me walking down I81 blindfolded and pantless
All I remember is passing out with an umbrella over my head and waking up screaming bad luck for seven years
You declared war on your ex and then had sex with who you thought was her sister. No one knows who she was but we think your dick might be in danger.
Whats your number? 5 or more?
Cinco. It sounds smaller in Spanish.
I'd tell u there's strippers to make you get here faster, but that would be a blatant lie... There's strippers here.
I was so fucked up last night that I peed on his FATHER'S BED and fell asleep there. and yes. his father was asleep in the bed
Honestly I really just want to do you in the mail truck. Thought about it a lot today
whoevers yellow car is in your driveway right now... i plan to steal. just an FYI
It started with drunk jenga and ended with me simultaneously peeing and puking on his feet in the tub while he held me up. I met Tequila. I don't like her.
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