I'm lost and stupid without you.
You gave him your vagina and this is what I get in return? This is bullshit!
I wanted to google "huge banana" but I'm pretty sure all I'd get is dick pictures.
is 1am too late, or too early to make bacon?
If they made snuggies with a sleeve for my morning wood, id consider buying one...
he nicknamed his dick "too big to fail"
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
I thought she was being abused so tried to go in at the sympathy angle, but the bruises were from pole dancing. I went in at all angles.
If you hook up with a kid and the next day he breaks up with his girlfriend, those can be seen as two completely unrelated incidents right?!
Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.
I once took a shot of lighter fluid.. That's not a secret just a fucked up story
Just learned that the cute guy I've been flirting with at the beach this whole time is actually an inmate working in the community instead of being in prison.. My life is unreal
Bro, that'd be the third dick I've taken down in the office.
I’m going to hump him until his teeth hurt and then I’m going to have my way with him
Randomize
