I just realized that this morning is the first morning i've put on underwear in a week.
I love summer.
There are thorn wounds on my balls, don't ever question my dedication to party again
My mom wanted me and my brother to have some bonding time before I left for school. Our bonding time consisted of us smokin a few bowls then goin to Red Robin to cure the munchies. Ooo how I love family time :)
Woke up on the floor holding a sandwich. Shots. Never again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its not even 10am and we are talking about what guys assholes we would finger.
hes the hot one from work who thought i was dead after my party
i'm gonna fuck his crew, i'm gonna wax my asshole. i'm gonna make them all cry tears of sex joy then move to colorado.
I wish men found my impeccable aim when spitting into the sink attractive.
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So he drunk messaged me last night telling me he wants a baby. Think I should call his bluff?
Oh god now he thinks I'm into him because I've been staring at him trying to figure out what animal he looked like
Like I didn't gracefully walk into these feelings. No, I fucking stumbled and fell face fucking first.
When your guy changes his swinger profile to include you. #makingprogress
I seriously feel like I just crawled out from under a shit covered rock. I'm NEVER drinking like that again...well, not for alteast a solid 3 hours.
I don't know, all I remember is waking up at 4 in the morning to him going down on me.
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