I'm putting on too much make up bc I'm stoned
I think horse shit smells the best of all shits.
i just found a bag of weed behind my capital one card. i guess that's what's in my wallet.
he is allergic to cats. we can only glue dog hair on him. otherwise he might die and i dont want to be responsible for that.
ahaha ok
let's call it "werewolfing"
Make puking fun. Chug half a monster right before you blow. Throw up foam. Most unique experience ever.
Last time I get high to write a paper the night before it's due. "Tiny Wings and sexuality" is not an acceptable topic to for a paper. Class in 30 minutes. I'm fucked...
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
they told me if I wanted to live here I had to get an ass tattoo and then they all mooned me simultaneously. ass tattoos as far as the eye could see.
The best part is every argument that she makes from here on out will be refuted by "Oh hey remember that time you shit yourself wearing someone else's sweatpants at a frat party?"
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
look in the field by the highway and see if there is a high heel there. Or some Taco Bell bags.
eating on the run again ?
i can't invite random hot hobos into my aunt's house.
I'm going to give you the best blowjob of your life. And yes you can use my mom's printer.
I'm not sure if 14 year old me would be disappointed or proud that I fucked him behind her middle school??
I once broke a mans heart just to get laid by a premature ejaculator
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