The first thing on our $10,000 damage bill was "condoms in the main drain"
I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
Yeah well my vagina has expectations too but they don't get met all the time.
drunk guy next to me on the train just tried to share his pizza with me
he just tried to feed it to me...i love new york
Let's enter the circle of trust. Are we there yet? Ok. If I somehow hypothetically slept with Amandas ex husband...on a scale of one to ten...how bad is that?
When he wears his hair down and sandals, he looks like Jesus. A Jesus I would fuck.
That's not what Jesus is for
Would nail polish remover take gorilla glue off my nipples? We had a strange night.
Blow job season was short but glorious.
His name was Kyle but I insisted on calling him baby Jesus all night and then we did a line and he bought me Taco Bell so idk
Leave it to me to sleep w a guy who gets poison ivy on his dick
Let's make an agreement. No drugs until you finish all your homework. I'm hiding them as we speak.
cake and sex. what better combination is there.
I explained to him that me turning straight is a once a year thing. And this boy just happens to be the chosen one.
Fast is cars. Home is I now. Drunk yoda me is.
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
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