remember that night we drank a bottle of vodka and went to mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu, twice?
we can't do that now- first b/c they got rid of that menu and 2 b/c we are broke now. damn this recession.
theres a boy scout troop on my plane. right now theyre playing wilderness games. let me just tell you how excited i am to hit on all of them
He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
The hardest part of getting a new computer is deliberating whether to start the cycle of porn and viruses all over again.
Standing in line for a prescreening of Alice in Wonderland - guy just passed out cold in front of us - first drug overdose of the Alice in Wonderland phenomenon witnessed.
Her friend drew me a diagram of how we could get away with her giving me a blowjob at work.
he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
no pressure.
If she asks the cat was vomiting before I fed it fried calamari
Well I turned her sobriety into my own personal drinking game
We fucked to the rythmn of the thunder, it was magical
Did we almost burn down the bar last night? I guess flaming shots were a bad idea.
Looked like a bag of smashed assholes and smelt like a brewery - still got morning sex. Marriage rules sometimes!
Just spent the morning washing Bailey's and Guiness out of my clothes -_-
He met a girl at a stop light and managed to give her his number while driving down the highway.
You know its an epic night when omar the garbage man gives you a ride home at 6 in the morning.
Randomize
