Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
Please don't tell anyone I peed on your wall.
he breathalyzed me before we had sex.
Remember when we did the egg drop from the Dyson building? Her vag is like that, except with a ham, and the ham doesn't make it. I'll be back to the apartment in ten.
Just got back from my 9:00 am class to find my roommate soaking her lifesaver gummies in vodka so she can have them for a snack in class later.
I think I'm on the verge of a really slutty period in my life
I'm lying topless with an eye infection at the foot of my bed with a dog between my legs. With disney in the background. Its one of those 3 am moments
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
I drank butter last night, who am I to judge?
Is it socially acceptable to be blind drunk at half five on a Monday afternoon?
Which pub are you in?
and than he said 'I did amateur porn for a while' and I just knew tinder did not fail me this time
The best thing about this time of year is that all I have to do is add a random mardi gras decoration to my cart full of alcohol and boom, no more judging
Is there a lightning bolt coming out of your boner right now?!
We kept having to tell you that you couldn't just sit wherever you wanted at Walmart. Sitting in the middle of the raw meat section was unacceptable and children were staring at you.
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
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