Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
I bet the first cavemant to make fire got so much pussy
i knew it was going to be a good night when i was bleeding, licked it and it tasted like miller light
The future queen of Norway was pregnant with a druglord's baby when she met the prince. We still have hope.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We just licked a sour creme and onion chip for salt for a tequila shot. Our vacation has officially begun.
It was good I woke up with my mattress on top of me. I walked around naked the whole night as people wished my Happy Birthday.
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
What if I told you that I had 160 ounces of cheap malt liquor in my backpack? Espn films 40 for 40s presents: Edward 40 hands. Our room. 11PM/10 central
You stole a fry from a complete stranger. He wasn't happy. Then you said fuck it and stole the whole poutine and ran down the street while he stared in shock.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They kept barging in on us saying random shit. At one point they came in yelling room service! and threw soda at us bruising my foot. Weirdest injury I have gotten during sex.
Starting the day with sex, coffee and productivity are what the founding fathers intended
ok thanks goodnight
Also before you go to bed i just have to get it out there that i really like macklemore as a person
I knew it was all downhill from there when the straight vodka I was drinking tasted like water.
I just found a bag of chex mix in my clutch
You were feeding it to the bartender last night
I got arrested FOR running from the cops. In college Dad got arrested and THEN ran from the cops. So it could be worse.
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