guy in front of me on the bus did 12 yrs, hes teling me about how to knife fight
When are you freeeeeeeeee?
My phone auto corrected that to freeeeeeeeeedoooooooooom. That's kinda awesome.
Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You decided to make a porno with gummy bears and things went downhill from there.
There are going to be so many Snookis this Halloween that I might just dress as the guy that hit her and punch them all in the face
just got booed by the entire restaurant.
Your CAR. Is in a LAKE. I'd say "a big mess" is a pretty conservative description of the situation.
Fucking her would be like seeing big foot, finding a four leaf clover , petting a unicorn, and arm wrestling a leprechaun in a matter of a 6 hour period
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just need like a magic vacuum to suck everything out of me and then an IV to put good stuff back in
I have an interview tomorrow and listed you as a reference. If they call you, please don't tell them about the time I smuggled a Chalupa out of Taco Bell in my underwear.
That's really the only reason I'm dating you, the prospect that I might get bacon
Why is there a waffle in the knife drawer?
The real question is why are there knives in the waffle drawer.
He talked me out going to the bar. No one ever talks me out going to the bar..this is fucking love.
I called to inform you I may or may not be getting laid tonight ...
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