Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
Doo rag and shades in the bar. You are missing your future husband.
Things on my life to do list: hold a pound of marijuana. Check.
Is it sad i was sitting here thinkin how i would only fuck Rob Pattinson if he was glittery at said time.
billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.
Katie told the cabby "when the boat docks I'm getting off with you"
The next time you try to drunkenly strip me in public let's make sure it's not anywhere near the daiquiri factory or a group of police officers.
I desperately wanted to wear your shirt.
You are a magnificent human being. I love you from head to toe. This wine is DELICIOUS.
I wound up running down the street in 12 degree weather in just my bra and then fell asleep cuddling my bottle. You tell me how last night went.
We got drunk and crashed a fifty year old woman's birthday party for the food. Whoops.
How hard is it to grasp the concept of 'I lost an impromptu saber bout and so I have to make a macaroni map of Soviet Russi, including Kazicstan'!?
THE FASTEST WAY TO MY HEART IS THROUGH FAMILY SIZED BAGS OF GENERIC BRAND CHEESE BALLS
Can't believe we're making vacation plans with the guy we had a threesome with
THERE ARE SO MANY HOT DADS AT WHOLE FOODS
So our night ended with 6 cruisers, a fire truck, and an ambulance. Also, lots of blood. How was yours?
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