ya i looked horrible drunk and pregnant isn't a good combination
my phone calendar just alerted me that it's "weed time" in 15 minutes. do not remember setting that alert last night...
Just jerked off to Cameron Diaz in "My Sister's Keeper". New low.
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
apparently they wrote a song entitled "butt slut" about her... im thinking shes not girlfriend material.
btw he is cheating on one twin with the other. the main woman in his life has a mullet. I defiantly have either the coolest or weirdest uncle ever
You paid at the door and they gave you a straw for the kiddie pool full of booze.
After a bit there were two girls who got naked and liquor wrestled. I don't think it was planned.
Just realized I could have five different dicks in me the day of valentines day but no real date. My life
I was weirded out when the chunky goth girl and her boyfriend both started eyeing me and wanted to by me a drink.
As long as you keep bringing fries home, i'll keep being naked when you get home
Yeah yeah I know I have to bring your dog back.
He left a full handprint on my ass. He called it a "five-star review."
I just want an early 40-something dude who is vaguely unencumbered, professionally driven and wants to put me in a ball gag.
He flipped a shopping cart in the back room and had to leave to make a jazz playlist. If we aren't in love then i don't know what love is.
Randomize
