Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
Just set all my clocks a minute apart. Now my 4:20 is longer by sixfold
i sneezed during and he said it felt like i gave birth to his dick...then asked me to do it again.
please remember that your boobs are bigger than your sisters. when you borrow her shirts they stretch and then shes left flapping in the breeze. dont borrow her clothes anymore. love dad.
I'm pretty sure this isn't my phone, but I do like these nude pics
nothing says new school year like ambulances and police road blocks.
After much deliberation I've decided to name my penis "Arthur", hope your mom's surgery goes well.
In case you were wondering, transporting lube in a ziploc bag is just as bad of an idea as it sounds.
watched two friends get underages. one had a shirt on that said lets get wasted while the other said to the cop "i understand your just trying to do your job but that was dirty bro".
There was probably a tattoo above her soulless vagina that read 'it's a trap!' Yet you ignored it
He spent like 5 minutes figuring out how best to position me so I would still be able to watch the game. Maybe there is a benefit to dating a guy who cares about me but doesn't care about my team.
Pretty sure this is the part where you go buy a ring.
I think he's only dating me for my ass...
You kissed my hand and then put a Taco in it. Why WOUDNT I leave my husband?
Just fell out of the attic onto the garage floor. Okay but might go for an x ray. Smashed one of the kitchen drawers to bits.
Holy Shit Mom
Randomize
