well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
clearly I should have checked to see if he was an NRA member before I went back to his house and woke up in Heston's haven.
Someone just uploaded pictures on facebook of you making out with random girls. I'm telling you because I'm assuming you don't remember anything, but the 236 pictures in the album should give you a good clue.
If I start taking birth control 8 days after we had sex do you think it'll stop the baby from being made?
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
Just hit him with your car. I can guarantee he won't do it again.
Last thing i remember is pounding jager and puking in that nerds george foreman grill. Then i wake up this morning with some random tooth brush in my mouth
hey, you wanna get together over coffee or something?
is this code for 'i just got broke up with and i need a sympathy dicking'?
how did you know?
Way too stoned bro. Was laying down on my back and thought for a good 30 mins what it would be like to be a turtle stuck on its shell
Idk I somehow continue to get laid by pulling my dick out and reciting the 3 world country orphan kid commercials
It's two in the afternoon, I'm on my third glass of wine and I'm watching Lambchop on youtube. How do you think I feel right now?
Also I just took Ritalin with coffee so if anyone wants to know what numbers sound like, I got you
Fuck I forgot the furry convention was this weekend and now I'm downtown. Way too high for this shit.
I just woke and had to fish my phone out of a bowl of chili. I was wrist deep in it. WHO BROUGHT CHILI TO A PARTY?!
its not chili. and you brought it.
He only has one ball. it was like fucking a cyclops.
Randomize
