We found an eightball on the ground last night. I mean, really, who does that?
and thats how i got kicked in the balls by micky mouse
Having him eat chocolate out of you is not as romantic as it sounds. I'm still finding pieces.
we got hammered off table wine and i ended up biting my acrylic nail off so i could finger his butt.. ill never look at valentines day the same
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
You promised me a handle of vodka if I took home her ugly friend. Thanks to law class I took for the 2nd time I know that's a unilateral contract asshole
It was like the perfect storm of bad decisions.
She's on her way over to shave my year round sweater vest into a festive argyle sweater vest. Keeper?
I got so drunk at the hockey game I bought everyone behind me in concession line a funnel cake.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently asking your girlfriends roommate for a hand job when u craw into the wrong bed after a bottle of rum is "bad form".
Took pain meds with RumChata this morning. It's like morning milk but better
My girlfriend is talking to my ex-boyfriend at the bar right now. I REPEAT, GIRLFRIEND IS TALKING TO EX BOYFRIEND RIGHT NOW. GET ME THE FUCK OUT OF THIS PLAACE
She was a little thick, but we banged on the beach and fireworks went off as we finished so I think God wanted it
im looking at the positives. number one it stopped me from hooking up with vince infront of his girl, number two it gave me something to do instead of throwing up and number three i fuckin rocked his world
Granted, I did not plan to spend ANY hour of the last day of 2020 sober.
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