I judge my drunkenness on my brickbreaker playing skills. I'm winning. Suck it.
I got to work, greeted my staff, then went into the bathroom to throw up. Who hired me to run a business???
dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
That's the first time you've ever said the L word without referring to drinking or partying.
Babe. Honestly. Trust me. Your balls are not that big. And i'm eager.
I went through his pics. Will you go with me to get tested?
Obviously. I'm here to let you eat things off my boobs and help you get laid.
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
I JUST LIKE FLANNEL, NOT VAGINAS! OK?
Well the other day she asked me how often I jerk off. So I guess things are getting semi-serious
When the hubs wants to wear his training mask during sex and pretend to be Bane you just go with it.
The most adult decision I've mad today was Jameson or Fireball? It's been a successful Day
Soo are you just gonna poop in my bathtub and not talk to me anymore...?
Just packed vodka and spare underwear into my purse- totally set for watching the hockey with him tonight
Have you had an orgasm with an n95 mask on yet? It was better than being choked.
Randomize
