Doo rag and shades in the bar. You are missing your future husband.
If someone cant be won over with guacomole and tequila they are not worth your time.
I checked for jungle juice on Weight Watchers. they didn't have it.
He choked me out. i woke up to poo. I dont think i like S&M
Watching intervention at a bar. Who let this happen??
1. They have gold fish races every wednesday. 2. They have a redbull vodka slushie. We need to visit this place.
1. My fish will beat your fish. 2. Were getting fucked up
Sign out of Gchat. Right now my gchat list is entirely girls I've slept with.. and you. You are fucking up my gchat chi.
I think it says something about my life when I start picking up girls while im in rehab. And I don't think it's good.
All I've succeeded in doing since I saw you is drool on my shoulder
I woke up and found piles of popcorn in a trail around my house, ending at a laundry basket full of pillows. What were we trying to catch last night?
no he just sat there holding the hammer and grinning insanely
I've started budgeting for next year. It looks like I'll be crying tears of dollar bills and handing them over to pay back my unholy college debt.
Yeah plus that night got so disgusting it's basically a repressed memory anyway
Help. I am eating nachos. But I'm with some guy. I need help. I don't know where I am. The nachos were so good. I'll bring them but help me.
Im blaming it on six shots of Jack, loneliness and a chemical imbalance. That's the best I can think of...
Randomize
