she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
Just saw cops pull over the ice cream truck. What a dick
What kind of flower means "I want to have unprotected sex with you, preferably from behind?" because thats the message I'd really like to send on Valentines Day
He snuck into some random hotel's continental breakfast at 3 AM and then passed out on a bench in the lobby. When the cops found him they made him empty out his pockets. No phone, no ID just muffins.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is it sad that when she told me he has a small peen I felt like it made us more compatible?
The lesbians are drunkenly meowing in the hallway again. This is the shit I'll miss at home.
I am literally too baked to press the call button. How am I supposed to bone him?
She's a virgin AND a minister's daughter. We're one schoolgirl outfit from the dear penthouse trifecta
thats it. im teaching my cat how to use a fire alarm
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i accidentally sent all my draft messages..how do i do damage control for the multiple "fuck me now" type msgs sent at ten am?
The school security guard knows my name.... I think I'm missing some memories...
he has the ass of a greek god and he made me breakfast
The closest I'll come to committing is leaving sex toys at their house
I'm so drunk and angry about the Michigan game the fact of my relationship being over doesn't matter
You did an excessive amount of blow and then screamed "WHO THE FUCK NEEDS A LADDER?!" And then Mario style wall-jumped onto the roof. It was one of the most impressive things I've ever seen.
Randomize