You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
I knew her barely 30 minutes before we got naked. This whole fraternity thing is starting to grow on me...
Im about to have a threesome, Ill pay you twenty bucks to go clean my room. Just throw it all in the closet.
In case you were wondering, transporting lube in a ziploc bag is just as bad of an idea as it sounds.
There are 3 guys sitting in the elevator in lawn chairs wearing sunglasses and holding beers. the hallway rugs are stuffed in a trash can. i've never been so glad to be sober.
I really wish I had added "blowjob on a slide at a playground" to my bucket list before last night.
At least I cut out the pieces of your hair where I braided gum into it last night. Thank me later.
Leave the bottle at home cause either way I'm not taking another shot. You have no idea how long it took me to compose this text free of grammatical error.
Gold star for you, but I'm on my way and the soco is buckled in next to me. This is happening.
Also, as my manager i'm going to put you in charge of making sure i don't drown.
Going to the beach. Greeting Sandy with a blunt. Wish us luck!
I'm sitting on the floor singing Bruno mars while they cook and occasionally pet me
My mom is currently out with her lesbian friends and I'm home alone drunk listening to the Les Miserables soundtrack. WHY DO I FEEL THE NEED TO COMPETE WITH HER?
God is tempting me with everything tonight. Brownies and dick, mostly.
Fuck me I smell like cheese
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