omg... punch me in the throat... I am about to lose my mind with my parents.. I'm not saying I agree with the menendez brothers.. but I understand
i'm not going because i feel like it's just gunna be a "this is your life" who i banged this years addition
I had to write an apology letter to security guards in the hotel so I didnt get kicked out
there's a guy pushing a keg up the street in a shopping cart. you have to love graduation
Fair warning: We've transformed the living room into a giant tent.
I almost stepped in a homeless mans stream of urine as he was peeing. I love this city.
So. How about you can get tequila certified...
Holy. Crap. I just found a hickey on my bikini line. He never got my pants off. WHO IS THIS MYSTICAL HOOKUP WIZARD?
I was afraid someone would drug test my pants so you set them on fire.
In last nights drunken stupor i apparently purchased a luxury travel package for two to Australia. So uh...get a passport and clear your schedule for next month
Some male strippers are here, I threw pancakes at them. It's ok
On another note; I'm three days away from being 1/12th of my way from not having sex for a year. I need to get laid.
Whiskey and tits go great with anything. Especially fire.
Well at least I will forever be known as the girl he ate out on the lifeguard stand while people walked by. On the first date.
bonus check + party bus = big hot mess
Randomize
