My hair reeks of homosexuality.
just bought miller high life, hungry man dinners, and a bottle of lube. you win life, you win.
Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
imagine a blue Jetta with an ILLINOIS license plate that read JISLORD..... upon pondering it for 10minutes I came to the conclusion that J stood for JESUS and IF the license plate had enough room it would read "Jesus Is Lord"
hey, i'm all for honesty but let's not get carried away
That's your penis' name. I've always referred to it as Alejandro secretly.
After she lost the bet I made her get on one knee so she could "Te-blow me"
Do you have paint?
Paint? I wish
OMG WHAT ARE YOU DOING
your fridge is broken, your sock drawer is full of snow, and you flipped off the whole stadium on the big screen. I'd say it went well.
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
I felt like a personal hot pocket and all I could taste was cigarettes.
I had sex in the back of a hot foreign guy with a lacoste eye patch's car
I should've left when he told me that he only smoked crack by accident once
He stopped mid thrust ... To check snap chat .. From his roomie
I mean, it's a romantic picture of pubes if I've ever seen one
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