apparently it's okay for him to stick his dick in my mouth but not to let me have a can of diet pepsi for the road.
If u were an xman, what would ur power be? I would shoot lasers from my boobs.
He keeps whispering to me that he can't wait to tie my hands up with my wig?
I gained confidence after I found out she was a lesbian. At least that way I could flirt with her and convince her to buy me taco bell after the bar
This is what we get for YOLOing our way to obesity
My attempts to make you laugh have failed exceedingly. Naked snap chats it is
He came over and said its legs day so put them in the air! Fucked me for 30 minutes and said he had dinner reservations to go to. Well i just ran into him and his friends hammered at Taco Bell
I told my grandmother all I want is a nice guy who likes to be tied up.
Why do guys insist on chatting me up this early in the morning? I'm just like "Dude, I look like the bastard child of Einstein and a troll doll. Let me eat my Hot Pocket in peace."
30 year old woman with braces and crocs came into the store today with her boyfriend. what am I doing wrong.
Remember how we use to say "this will be the year I'll get my shit together!" And like we stopped doing that because we know that isn't happening anytime soon.
My sack is cleanly shaven and the rest of my body has been manscaped. i even put aftershave on my junk. i feel sleek like a fighter jet right now.
THIS IS NOT A LAUGHING MATTER, CAITLIN. MY PARENTS ARE FUCKING. LOUDLY.
I have acquired a mango...tonight is successful so far
Her name is susan
I put him in the supply closet, used the copy paper to build a fort around him and his wheelchair, then he fucked me in the fort.
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