who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
Oh my god he is having a sentimental moment right now.
He just sent me like a really heartfelt confession of love in which he ended with "make the apt, I'll hold your hand while you get your clit pierced."
I think we should involve a squid next time we fuck.
u kno there is a reason i dont tell mi friends about u
her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
We got really high and decided it would be a good idea to wash towels in the dishwasher. I left before I could see the final result.
Since I fall down so much at parties I've started doing this new thing where when I fall I just yell FLOOR PARTY and make people bring the party to me
Im going to be coked out with hello kitty fire arms. Valentines day can suck my dick
I have decided that today will be all about indulgence and hedonism.
I was packing a bowl naked and her dog just stared at me with pure rage
He literally cried into his tacos and screamed fuck bitches. Don't know if it was the best, or the worst hook up, ever.
But truly, sorry about your empty vagina
Thanks boo.
Don't be hating on my everclear. Never taken a smoother journey into intoxication.
This is why I can't take dates to shows... I've literally made out with everyone in this band. And two of the guys in the crowd. And the bartender.
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
Randomize
