oh wait, my morality sensor is a little fucked up since I almost let my little sister's friend blow me.
did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
Why the fuck is BBQ sauce coming out of my shower head?
youre just mad i got the high score on the breathalyzer
I hope that he knows just because i pissed in his bed doesn't mean were together.
I want to apologize in advance in the event I put my boobs in your face
this is what happens when you pick a roommate a year in advance.. she ends up hating you for hooking up with for of her extended family members
I need a Jamo leash. Just tie it to my wrist and every time you see me reaching for a shot of it, just yank my hand away
dude I just found tht weird ass guy u invited last night passed out in my closet.... apparently he "couldn't find the exit"
Reasons I shouldn't drink... My twitter drafts keep getting more and more emotional.
He has a burner phone just to send dick pics. It's revolutionary
If you can't drink with the big boys, give up your beer and go back to the playpen
Christ I forgot how flexible you need to be for a decent sext pic. Jesus.
I can't hangout tonight, I have a phone sex appointment at 10
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
Randomize
