Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
does the new i-phone have a pregnancy test app?
Woke up. Made a pizza. Burnt it. Going back to bed cuz today sucks
Have you ever seen a midget fist pump? BEST. THING. EVERRRRR.
i left with the words "thank you for undersanding my sluttiness"
I'm sorry. I think I have multiple personalities. Or it was the acid. Either way. I'm sorry.
The kid across the hall found me in the hallway using a hot pocket box as a pillow. I said its okay I live here.
When did it become appropriate to call your mother the morning after? While still naked in bed? WHEN?!
It's my 3rd annual 21st birthday party. Disney themed. There will be blood.
I'm having one of my monday morning walk of shame coffees if you care to join.
she said she wouldn't go home with me until she looked up my name in her sex offender app. do i really give off that vibe?
Yeah. It's not just the beard either.
My housemates are judging me because I'm high at 8am and making Spongebob shaped Mac and Cheese
They know nothing, John Stoned.
Should I take a fireball shot or brush my teeth?
From what I remember I had fun, until I threw up, and lost my shoes..
Visiting my great uncle went well. The highlight of the evening was when he said, "Oh my god. I'm 79 and I'm teaching 18 year old kids how to roll a joint."
Randomize
