Like worst hickies ever he always gives them like wtf
Oh my god you would drunk register for a marathon.
either she doesn't know how to dress properly on a sunday morning stroll, or I just saw a 60 year old on a walk of shame
Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
The moment that kid turns 18, I will have his sperm for all three meals.
Oh God. You're going to jail
How do you not remember seeing the kid from our chem lab table and repeatedly yelling "lab partners for life!" at him?
I can affiliate each flavor of Copenhagen to a different one night stand. I really love Texas.
He yearns for your heart.
He needs to stop being a pussy about it.
My mom is currently out with her lesbian friends and I'm home alone drunk listening to the Les Miserables soundtrack. WHY DO I FEEL THE NEED TO COMPETE WITH HER?
I am not a slut. I'm just very open with how much I love to have sex. Stop judging.
Well now you know not to take drugs from your friends. Take it from stangers. They're more reliable.
Isn't it funny how we're still best friends after that incident with the old lady in the bathroom
You fucking bailed on me. But I love you still
I remember turning to Jon after doing a line of coke and saying "I was a Girl Scout"
april was a good month for me, sexually...doubled my number, had a threesome, fucked a girl for the first time and two different boys in one night. there should be a medal
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