My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.
either way. win, win.
I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
Hulk Hogan has now convinced 2 women to marry him & I have yet to have a successful or healthy relationship. I am officially depressed.
I'll be spending 4/20 on a cruise ship, so i need a babysitter to make sure I don't reenact Titanic
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Won't anyone wonder why I'm mute, bald, and wearing an eye patch?
She pulled a wad of lint out of my bellybutton while she was blowing me. Said she's never seen anything like it. I've never gone soft so fast.
He hasn't responded, but he probably just jizzed in his shorts again, so I'll give him time.
My underwear are in the stairs so apparently I did take the dog out.
Where are you? We're in between the guy dressed as a giant inflatable penis and the Justin Bieber lookalike lesbians
Does the penis have a genital wart?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you got into a really intense arguement about protecting bees. it was wierdly arousing.
Saw the guy I once slept with, he was buying Beer and shit tone of diapers. Glad to see how 2016 will turn out.
Doing a walk of shame at Wal-Mart at 3:30am because when I left at 11pm I was getting milk
So I had Xanax for breakfast & I'm probably going to fuck my tennis instructor.
I mean, I was going to use them for a beading project, but I guess I could take one and let you bat my dick around like a cat toy.
Soon to be ex is nowhere to be found. Her attorney/new BF just showed up. 30 minutes late looking hungover. Pretty sure I'm getting the kids AND the house!
Randomize