let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
Bonnaroo quote of the day: "why the fuck am i pregnant?!?!" - exclaimed loudly by random hippie.
Last night my friend tried to make out with me in an olive garden. Ahahah
Nothing says 'I love you' like never ending salad and breadsticks
I just experienced a full blown christian wedding. I am SO GLAD YOUR WEDDING WASNT THIS.
i have a strong feeling i fucked one of the waiters here...
they won't let me drive with my sombrero
When we found you, you were using the bottle of Captain as a pillow...with a note on your forehead that said don't wake up the champion.
Times like this, when you talk openly about Tinkerbell being your spirit animal, are times when I'm allowed to question your sexuality.
My halloween constume SCREAMS "Hey i just got done with a shitty relationship and I'm DTF"
You can jump from the roof to the pool. Trust me. I have done this before.
Look at my fb. It says single. That's the gospel.
I've been on this train for an hour and this women has been on the phone and all she's said is "guuurrrrrlllll, gurl, gurl." I may commit suicide.
Would giving a bouquet of flowers to my mother be a good way to say, "sorry you walked in on my boyfriend eating me out"?
She drunkenly dropped her ranch for her pizza. She tried to clean it up with her hands off the street then realized it didn't work and started licking her fingers.
I hate when my Bumble matches make it hard for me to stalk them.
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