I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
I cut holes in my blanket and put my arms through it. It's the sleeveless "Bro Edition" Snuggie.
Stumbled into class and into a desk. When I fell my bottle broke in my backpack. I had to leave there was vodka everywhere.
apparently it isn't appropriate to tell a coworker who is eating celery because it's "negative calories" that a blowjob is too
Did I tell you I had a charge show up for $36 on a credit card I haven't used in 6 months from Wild Wings? It was that night we slept across the street from the bar.
If you're not washing nut sweat off of your forehead this morning I'm disappointed in you
I just made an agreement with this milf to shoot her daughters wedding in exchange for blow jobs. Going pro was the best choice I ever made.
I just wanna go somewhere and not be judged for wearing spandex shorts that make my ass look like a slice of fucking heaven. Is that so much to ask??
Jesus, I just want to drink. Also simultaneously punch things and rub my vagina on them.
He plays D&D and his dick should be carved out of marble. I think I'm in love.
NO HE PUT HIS HAND IN HIS PANTS BEFORE HE TOUCHED THE BONG.
ILLEGAL
He had a cruise ship of a dick and I need to set sail on that ocean again
Nothing to be ashamed of. I bet Oprah has sharted.
I paper cut my nipple reading mail topless
The coast is clear - also, would it bother you if I chose not to wear pants?
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