I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
a girl just told me i should have been born earlier in the alphabet
Bad idea. College students cannot afford both alcohol and a cat. Unless said cat is irish, and can feed itself with fifths of whisky.
i'm drunk and confused. there might be a 4 year old here.
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
I hope my orgasm sounds aren't secretly that bad and no one tells me
How does this dude know what a dying walrus sounds like? That's the real question
They were scared I was going to get lost last night so they dressed me up as Waldo so someone would always find me.
I wish on days I started my period Chipotle would come to my house with a burrito bar ... Then give me a chocolate cake and a large beer.
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
All I know, is I had green sex and beer and got driven home. That's it.
He told me to take off work and bring a bathing suit. If this doesn't involve six flags hurricane harbor or sex in a hotel pool I'm going to be disappointed.
Update: they told me I was twerking to twenty one pilots
Hey know anyone who wants 58 lbs of whole frozen chickens for a couple bowls?
You kept telling everyone that you were as sober as a camel. I have yet to figure out what that means
Got electrocuted a second ago, is it weird that I have a boner?
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