I just saw grafitti that read "Mug The Fart Eater". Really, Memphis? That's all you've got?
please dont let the old guy in the wheelchair see you when you wake up
What would you do in exchange for having a girl eat a waffle house waffle off your body?
It is a special kind of bonus when you find money you hid from yourself when you were drunk in the tampon box. What did we do last period?
You were walking around in your swim suit, an open robe, snow boots and a death grip on that handel of captain morgan.
The cops walked in and cracked up bec he was passed out on the couch in a pink tutu.
My roommate comes home screaming, I brought you home a friend! I thought she brought me a guy...no, she brought home a one-eyed shih tzu.
We can't BOTH have terrible sex lives. Get fucked or throw him out.
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
Opened the apartment door and the smell of sex and weed literally slapped me across the face. Kudos.
I took a 19 year old to a strip club and ended up in a three way. Divorced life might be OK.
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
I feel bad for her. If you sacrifice and have a chubby husband I feel that you assume he's not going to cheat on you....
Yeahh. im on the phone with him drunk. he told me he found a pigeon in a cardboard box and named it quincy...
The only words I could make out were "Dicksmash McIroncock".
Randomize
