come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
He threw up over the balcony and blamed it on an invisible garden gnome.
Went to the strip club with my aunt. Do you know how hard it is to be a pervert in front of your female family members?
It's that thing where you don't have any food so you just drink beer to get your needed calories for the day.
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
That moment when you see yourself in a security camera feed and realize you forgot a bra. And pants.
You shouldn't have to. I think you should bust into work like "pay homage to my magical vagina!"
He'll only communicate through snapchat with pictures of him holding his cat or his dick. Bit of Russian roulette opening them in public but I did it anyway.
my throat is bruised, my back is scarred, my vagina feels like it's going to fall off.. you're like godzilla. you destroy everything.
Hey also tomorrow casually bring up wearing crocs to your sister's wedding
Do you ever look back on your life and think - man I should have never had sex with that guy
Well, after a pitcher of beer, I set my ex on fire. It was a little fire, he's fine. How's your night?
These morning walks of shame have became my morning jogs
I just dropped a chicken nugget on the floor and seriously prayed that it would be ok....I think this job is making me crazy.
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
Randomize
