My mom asked me if I was being satisfied, sexually. And then discussed positioning.
there's a wings menu taped to my wall. don't tell me i don't have my priorities straight.
2048oz a keg...divide that by solo cup... comes out to 128 beers...simplifies into 5.3repeating cases...drinkable between two people
and u failed math?
He just told me what he wants for his birthday. "a noise complaint" he also said he wants to be the cause of all the noise but he won't be the one making the noise.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Virginity is like the pottery barn-you break it, you bought it.
Thanks....I've always wanted my vagina compared to an overpriced coffee table
EVERYTHING IS DISNEY. Even my sexting can lead to Disney.
I really want some funfetti cake but I feel like its more socially acceptable to go out and drink
I went by my nickname in rehab. It made it feel more like summer camp.
i may or may not have triedto pee like a boy and then dipped cheese ino the olive oil
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
Do you guys think there will be a coke-for-Molly barder at bonnaroo?
he told me he liked me . I thought we were just fuck buddies . This ruins everything!
I deleted all traces of him from my phone
even the dick picks he sent you?
no are you nuts? saved that shit to my camera roll
It was a "have 911 on speed dial" kinda night
We need to stop smoking. I just ran into a glass door.
Randomize