Whatever you do to me, stop, I found yet another blonde hair in my asshole.
update. expensive tequila only makes the mistakes more expensive.
If im still in the bathroom puking when the sirens go off please distract the cops.
do you think semen can infect my impacted wisdom tooth
Notice: I will be intoxicated and in your area this evening. To unsubscribe from my sexual solicitation list, reply 'fuck off'.
i have at this current moment imbibed enough alcohol to float immerse or otherwise submerge a goat of respectable size. tequila
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
That's what every 12 year old basketball team needs; a drunk and hungover lady eating KD whilst cheering them on. Highlight of their lives.
HE WAS SUPPOSED TO BE THE TROPHY HUSBAND! I WAS GOING TO BE THE SUCCESSFUL ONE!
Whatever. I have his dick. Haha how many girls can say they have a dildo replica of a guy they were seeing
STOP IT RIGHT NOW IM BEING A SINLESS CHILD OF GOD IN BED TRYING TO SLEEP AND YOURE SENDING ME MEMES ABOUT DICKS
Dude why can't I remember anything after walking in from my first beer bong?
It was immediately followed by your second, third, fourth and fifth
Anne is dead. totally passed out and was flat out in the street
I really wish you were home bc youre the only friend I could ask to use an at home waxing kit on my vagina. I need you.
Is it weird that my mother is taking body shots off my gf after meeting once?
Randomize
