I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
I put my bosses number in my phone as "Do not call," I shouldve known my drunk curiosity would overcome any desire I had to keep my job.
again?
just learned how to wash a penis. thank you nursing school for getting me the most action i've had in months.
Drunk. Just jacked off for the third time in an hour. I love not being Catholic anymore.
So what if i ate it off the ground. Its like i found a five dollar bill just laying there, in burrito form.
you convinced the bartender to un-cut you off by letting him touch your boobs whenever you ordered a drink.
He texted me for drugs this time. Not sex. I dunno if I should be pleased it's not sex or disappointed that I come across as a druggie
His thanks his mom for not having an abortion at his wedding toast. I love frat weddings.
I just told him I want him to "take the reins". At least its festive sexting?
There are Vine videos that have lasted longer than he did
Note to self: trying to grow pubes back = worst decision of 2014 thus far
It's always great when the guy I get pills from sends me an email that says "I know you will get clean it's going to be hard but I know you can do it"
He came over and fucked me while my conference call was on mute. Working from home is the best.
This is the Front Desk Lady from the Saturolite Inn. Your friend is passed out in the lobby. Please come help her.
So a bottle of lube exploded all over my softball bag and Nike shirt.
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