My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
Dude, I don't care how big her tits are. I have to dump her. She shit in my shower.
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
Im going to need an iv of taco bell after this.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm just gonna go nail your roommate after we break up anyway.
You will receive a large, large reward, worth much more than the actual phone you are holding, paid not only in cash but in sexual favors, if you return this phone! Please respond if you're interested in cash/sex/or just being a good person. Thanks and hope to hear from you soon!
He was having a "party in the princess castle." At what point do I blindfold him and take him to AA?
I've used my house key more to do bumps of coke than I've used it to get in my house.
I feel like I've been hit by a truck, flew up and landed on a fence post that went straight through my vagina. No more vodka and sex for a while.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
"Friendship bread", "how to get period stains out of cement", and "elephant bereavement" are all in my recent google history. Whatever shit that was last night really did me in...
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
EMERGENCY FRIEND CRISIS: WE HAVE TOO MUCH WHISKEY. ABORT HANGING OUT WITH MELISSA, RECOMMEND TO HANG OUT WITH OUR WHISKEY INSTEAD
We should probably start extreme couponing for the morning after pill.
Yeah like stabbing myself through the eye with a coffee stir and bleeding out all over the office rug
I want to shoot him sideways (so he can still breathe) in the Adam's apple with my little crossbow.
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