Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
and while your girlfriend wears your relationship pants, i'll be wearing my ecstasy pants
he screamed my twitter name while we were having sex.
Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
Have you ever seen a midget fist pump? BEST. THING. EVERRRRR.
I think I'm going to inject the gummy vitamins with vodka
I'm glad you're using your medical degree for some good for once
My fave moment of today was you sitting in a hot pink innertube puking into the ocean in front of a lot of children. i would have held your hair back but the ocean did it for you.
I'm texting you from across the beer pong table to tell you that the drunk chick you brought over needs to disappear. like now.
ive got a scarf tied around my face holding bags of hashbrowns to it, im too boss to care
Spent 200 bucks on a stripper for a good night hug. I give up.
Throwing up in the car while my mom drives, sister holds the bag & my dad holds my hair. This is how my family bonds.
Told my prof I have mono so that he won't judge me when I show up hungover and looking like shit to class every day.
Just skip
Please. i have SOME standards
I don't know how Dave is alive, I feel like he's been drinking since I met him.
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
Of fucking course I get my period on Valentine's Day...
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