i met him on craigslist. and no i'm not a hooker.
she's in the bathroom. spitting in the trashcan. not throwing up. just spitting and singing bad romance by lady gaga.
thatta girl
I should take him calling me "a freak of nature" after sex as a compliment, right??
Awww, you two will make beautiful abortions together...
when i got there he was on top of an air mattress in the middle of the pool with a bag of doritos and a 40 telling people he needed his space.
Close your eyes and stop texting and think about puppies. You'll be fine.
The number of times I've puked in the Walgreens bathroom is becoming way too many for my pride.
Any man who has a face like that and a bike, deserves a vagina like yours permanently.
After we drank 3, we built a raft out of the empties and installed the fourth submerged In the water to keep it cool. Keg boats are now a thing
i remember going to sleep after the 4th time i threw up this morning and hoping i didn't have to again because then it would be uneven between saturday and sunday. my ocd is getting out of control
Yo if you blacked out last night, careful going through your purse. There's cocaine in a lollipop wrapper.
Going back to the ever classy sneak out to the fridge and swig liquor from the bottle method. That it is legal for me to drink here makes the fact that I have to do this all the more depressing.
she definitely didn't appreciate it when you justified bringing her home by yelling to me "fat bitches need love too"
Owwww. A manager/ employee sex scandal that DOES NOT involve me! SCORE!!!
You're not talking any sense into me. You're cheering me on to disaster.
... is that not half the reason I'm your best friend in the first place?
Randomize
