Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.
Getting up at 8 this morning to drink could be the best and the worst idea we've ever had
We just took the batteries out of the fire alarm to play the breathalyzer game. I love college.
a lot of self evaluation comes after you have to clean up a trashcan of your own vomit and condoms
He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him.
But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.
Honestly, I don't care if the only reason she gave me her beer was because she was bisexual and wanted to touch my vagina. Beer is beer.
He just kept petting my ear and informing me that I wasn't one of the guys
And a psychic told me I was pregnant and I am just so over life right now.
He was going down on me and raised up for a minute, slipped and punched me in the face. My lady boner left immediately.
he convinced me that i wont have to do the walk of shame bc he has to go to jail in the morning
Do u remember giving me permission to fuck ur dad and then getting super pissed at me when i said ew?
He still texted me and invited me over a day later so I guess I'm the lovable kind of psycho
I'm laying in bed cuddling with my teddy bear and eating waffles. I need a fucking boyfriend
I am putting clothes on to go find a brownie
In my experiences, brownies are better naked.
I HATE BEING THIS HIGH FML IT'S LIKE I'M MAKING UP FOR ALL THE 4:20S I DIDNT DO ALL AT ONCE
Randomize
