I was thinking about texting her and telling her I had syphilis when I was with her and that she should get tested. just for shits and giggles. skank dahaha
just landed in detroit. Currently holding a bag of my own vomit. neighbor told me it was the most graceful vom she has ever seen. Kicking off bar exam week in style.
I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
Found a phone last night. Hope "daddy" gets picture messages
u just dont fucking get it...you try and cum while your cat is staring at you.
And as you crawled into the bathroom last night you repeatedly said "I know the routine".
i licked the inside of a toilet bowl for $14. i really can't talk about my night.
i DID try to find you last night. i asked where you were and you texted me the letter "e" and a picture of the dark.
I'm not sure how many more innuendos I can slip into this fucking conversation before I just blatantly say "I want to fuck you."
He refused to pierce my nipples, saying they are the best he's ever seen and that blemishing them would be a crime
There is a direct correlation between gooch size and male fertility. Science.
Idk what the interview would be like but I imagine you in a suit and tie surveying a nervous freshman and eventually leading him into a labyrinth of debauchery and clapping him on the back, saying "welcome to the fraternity, son"
He's two decades older than you. Remember how you said you wish you lived in the 70s? HE DID.
I'm sad about how hungover I'm gonna feel tomorrow.
Do you just want me to shit in a Jack-o-latern
Randomize
