At my boss' house at a bbq. Had a few beers. Taking a poop - there's no TP...this is my nightmare.
The guy dancing on me has three visible teeth. WHERE ARE YOU?
I got "discovered a new religion high" last night
I lost my virginity in that bed. You just layed in history.
Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
I just masterbated while imagining him getting hit by a truck. I have hit a completely unacceptable level of anger & bitterness. Help.
he told me not to treat him like a child and then started peeing off the trampoline
it was a frathouse cornucopia of foul mixed drinks and "sangria", which im convinced was blood and pcp
Like do you realize his dealer came out with a gun and we laughed like it was all just fun and games...
This dudes playing guitar and singing outside our window and he's like "ravioli is beterrrrrrr than tortelliniIii cause tortelliniiii is shaped like fucking ears"
It's now officially the Christmas season, so I have no shame in drinking evernog.
Currently looking up Winnie-the-Pooh porn.
I don't know what happened last night. But I just woke up in the high school boiler room
I'm keeping both. The way I see it, boyfriends come and go, but a good dick is forever.
11:30 and people are pissing in the sink. It's gonna be a good night.
Randomize
