So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
i chose cheese fries over sex for the third time this week.
My relationship with VH1 is so bittersweet
He was doing push ups, crunches and jogging in place in front of the restaurant. I'm not too sure I want to eat there if it requires immediate exercise following the meal.
And surprisingly enough iPhone does not have an app for Russian mail order brides.
I already brushed my teeth, and it's not even noon yet. Today's going to be a productive day.
Whiskey + Water + Crystal Lite does NOT = refreshing summer time drink.....
so how does soaking flintstones gummy vitamins in vodka not make perfect sense
How do we turn this unicorn pinata into a bong?
Y'all best leave this "I can only have a couple drinks" shit at the door. U don't drive to Yukon to have a shot. I'm getting u fuckers drunk.
one more hour of this work bullshit and I'm off to get high with your cat.
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
To be fair, this is a tequila-while-rewatching-Benedict-Cumberbatch-as-Van-Gogh idea, so I don't know if it will hold up tomorrow.
I'm bleeding and have questions
I sent him home with blood on his fingers and shame in his heart.
Randomize
