I got us kicked out of the bar because the waitress found me in the kitchen trying to make spaghetti
I think misery doesn't even think of me as company anymore. I'm an unofficial roommate.
I was just given a safe word. It's going it be an interesting night.
Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
The straight man in me wants to hit on her. But the gay man in me wants to compliment her on her awesome outfit.
Just heard an advertisement for 40 proof chocolate milk. We may never have to grow up
hey i found one of your nipple clamps under my couch, i miss you!
She shouted out halfway through "that costume does nothing to hide your cock". Last time we let her drink at the theatre.
I refuse to apologize. Any dick that comes that close to my face uninvited is gonna get bit
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
Nope. Too much basics going on right now. I'm tying you both up and throwing you to the vibrating sexy toy sharks. You shall either sink or get off gloriously.
Dude of course I want to. Your penis is beautiful.
I really don't know where my pants are, but that's not the problem. When are you going to unlock the door?
I can't even be mad at customs in houstons airport anymore for missing my flight and having to stay overnight. Within an hour of meeting we did it at her place. Her last word being "glad I could show you real southern hospitality". I'm definitely coming back here someday
long story short, he tried to fuck me standing up, toppled over, and now I have four stitches next to my eye
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