sometimes when i'm walking through campus i wonder how many of these people have seen me puke
During sex she told me I could do anything I wanted to her. You remember that toy lightsaber we bought at Wal Mart?
So I just used shazaam to figure out a pairs figure skating song. I don't think I could get any gayer.
One of us needs to be functional tomorrow and it won't be me. I'm drinking liquor out of a fishbowl.
Rachel and his cat watched us 69 last night. I pretended to be embarrassed the next day... But to be honest I like an audience
I don't understand how she could dump me AFTER we had shower sex. I'm fucking great at shower sex
He was the one that got away. From my vagina.
Sunrise bitch. You owe me waffles
we're going to the olympic park to run the 100m yeaaaahhh
it's 3am. Nothing could possibly go wrong here.
I JUST SEARCHED GINGER COCK ON TUMBLR AND THEY'RE ALL REALLY WELL HUNG? I'M CRYING. IS THIS HOW GINGERS KEEP REPRODUCING?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
Is it too soon for me to wonder what sex with him would be like?
Rage-masturbating and then crying myself to sleep. Welcome to Wednesday.
It's the kinda thing that makes you wanna buy a rainbow flag and fight republicans and kiss girls
I just lost my handcuff virginity and not in the sexy way.
If only he'd realize the fondness I have for his genitals.
Randomize
