Oh My! A car just drove by me a splashed me with a wave of water. I am drenched and soaking wet!
I am sorry--all I heard is that you are wet.
Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
We could sell used underwear with pictures of us wearing them.
dude he passed out in the strip club on his birthday, WHILE he was getting a lap dance. That drunk.
We have started to decorate penises.
Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
who started the 'put a scrunchy' around his balls' game?
btw im having a "its finally warm enough for a bbq in Toronto" party tonight. bring all the alcohol you have. and hamburger buns.
I forgot that places existed where drinking on Sunday is frowned upon. It's just so unreasonable.
I feel like cursing someone's first born child right now. Like I wanna maleficent some bitch.
She gave me a roadie as we drove home from fireworks. People were still lighting off their displays as we drove by. I love America.
WE HAVE WINE WHERE ARE YOU GUYS WE ARE BY THE GIANT EAGLE
My 1st STD. I feel like there should be a cake for this.
I POOPED CONFETTI TOO. Ingested unacceptable amount of it oh my god can I die from this?
Found like seven bruises in the shower. One was shaped like a hand. Best. Sex. Ever.
Randomize
