dude. FULL moustache. it was like getting head from Tom Selleck
Is it bad that John just came to my work to have sex with me bc I felt bad that he slept on his porch last night locked out and I missed all his calls?
there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
Howd you meet this guy?
I found him next to my pants on sunday morn.
well the first picture of me in 2011 involves a viking helmet and chugging champagne. i like this year already.
in the middle of giving him head in the backseat of my car he taps me on the shoulder, opens the door, throws up three times and then proceeds to tell me how amazing i am.
You're going to the beach with me so we can have beach sex whether you like it or not. Get over it. Kthx.
could you please not use my mortar and pestal for its intended purpose? i just snorted cracked black pepper.
you trust me enough to eiffel tower a girl but don't trust me with a mallet wtf happened to our friendsship
Please delete that video of me blowing you. I will repay you with 100 blowjobs even better than the one I gave you during that video. Please. I am gonna be a grandma one day.
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
I just rolled over in bed and felt a bump. Turns out it was a lil nug. Talk about being princess and the weed.
me + whiskey = a bad person
So I told him "To answer your question yes I am naked making pizza pops in your kitchen"
There's a fly in my room repeatedly throwing itself at my window, and I feel it's really symbolic of what I want to do with my future
Randomize
