omg i finished an entire carton of double double chunk chunk ice cream last night...
what? what exactly is in double double chunk chunk?
self-loathing.
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
My doc was like ur only supposed to have 6 sexual partners..thats just one semester at college
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
I hated hipsters before it was mainstream.
Yes. It's so easy to pack to leave when you've thrown away half your clothing cause it smells like vomit.
Yeah? Well I'm currently predrinking downstairs in my room by myself. Absolut and water with a hint of mint because I'm using the glass I keep my toothbrush in. Fuck, you bitches better get off work soon.
this is what happens when you pick a roommate a year in advance.. she ends up hating you for hooking up with for of her extended family members
Hey texans ride hard. He should have known what he was in for when I asked to sit on his face. The broken nose was a BADGE he just earned.
Guess what I'm doing tonight? Tacos and strip chess.
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
No, the high point was when you stood on a chair and shouted you were the god of tits and wine.
I got bit by a peacock. That's how hard shit went down last night.
WHY THE FUCK DOES RICKY'S BROTHER GET AN ENTIRE POT OF PASTA FOR BEING SHIRTLESS AND ALL I GET IS ARRESTED?!
He screamed, "Let there be light!" when he came
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