You're pretty and everything..but you aren't worth the DUI
The family from the blindsided came and talked to us last night. The dad owns 68 taco bells. You would have been so inspired
Just think about how many life skills I lack. Cooking... Driving... Sobriety...
He asked me to coffee and I had no choice but to be honest. So naturally I told him that sobriety and monogomy are not two of my strong suits.
i wanna meet her so much more now that I know she got toed in a hottub.
He has to watch his girlfriends kitten. Even when she is in Vegas, her pussy keeps him from getting into mine.
She just called to say she can support a full bottle of vodka between "the girls" now. I'm going over, don't try and stop me.
He wasn't lying when he said he was immune to pepperspray. He pretended it burned for like 12 seconds and told the cops he was kidding he was alright. We'll be there soon.
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
I just used crown royal bags as pot holders...
Seriously I can't get a booty call for some baked goods.
I hate college football. It's really fucking with our phone sex schedule.
I kinda forgave him after he laid next to me and rubbed my arm for four hours while I tripped balls.
Plus he probably didn't want to be at home, alone... Jacking off on the big screen without you there to lend a helping hand. I mean, let's be honest. It's not fun if it's not a little weird.
In the past year, I've fucked 3 Dave's and you've fucked 2 Dave's. That's a lot of Dave's in our vaginas.
We need to start a soap opera called the Dave's of Our Lives.
Randomize
