THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
i love marijuana more then i could love a human baby.
If I had a nickel for every time my parents threatened to stop paying tuition I would be a very rich man. Rich enough to pay my own tuition.
If I knew losing weight would mean this many fucking creepers I would've just stayed fat.
tell me why there is a bowl of oatmeal from starbucks in my purse
"The juvenile turned and faced the officer, unzipped his pants, placed a fresh cigarette in between his legs and preceded to light it with a match"
I just don't know what he sees in my vagina...and that scares me.
I'm wearing a shirt that says "birthday girls #1 homo" ...what has my life come to?
I just woke up entirely naked on top of a pile of some guy's laundry on his bedroom floor.
Yea he doesn't really know about any of this yet but my game plan is to keep wowing him with my vagina and cooking skills. It's up too future me to handle the rest.
High Amy loves you. Sober Amy is unsure, but she's not here so fuck that bitch.
well considering the guy who just delivered my cookies had to console me as i had a mental breakdown in front of him i'd say i'm 4/10 right now, thank you
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
Yeah well, last time I said I wasn't having a big night I was being strangled in somebody's spare bed
Do you remember vividly describing the shape and girth of my cock to that girl last night?
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