Best look from Detroit today: running across the street with your buttcheeks on display carrying a 40 oz. Or maybe being crazy-pregnant and screaming and slamming a pay phone. Toss up.
we'll hang out once this whole, "your friends are robbers and drug addicts" thing blows over with my parents.
it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
I hate to say it, but I think my pandora being Marvin Gaye love songs was the prime reason for the bj last night
Listening to Joy Division and applying for Walmart. You get to choose which one is more depressing.
You screamed for campus security to do something about the police officer who dumping ur 40
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
Yeah, I wouldn't mind getting fingered in the corner of a dive bar again.
You were dancing with his friend and you stopped to literally push the girl he was dancing with out of the way to make out with him
I`m watching Shallow Hal & Jack Black has better nipples than Jimmy's chick.
Dad got stoned the other day and bought us potty training seats for when we have children
He was smart enough to bring a condom to our study date so I mean I'm sure he'll do fine on the test
And, omg, my eyelids are on fire. I think the internet let me down. :(
It stopped being casual for me when I waxed my vagina for you
I’m honestly just flattered that you think I could make PornHub’s Top 10.
Randomize
