We can't ever have kids because there's a chance that they'll end up just like us.
You know you're true friends when you can talk about what sexual diseases you may or may not have.
insurance, jail, and birth control were made for people like us.
you tried to do a keg stand and ended up flipping over it and onto the table
I woke up on the stairs at of a Disneyland hotel. Yes, my night was amazing.
Do you remember using the heel of your shoe as a shish kabob stick? You offered me some chicken, but I declined.
Why are all the dvds taped to the fish tank. Really.
This dude. Just lost. A finger. He asked us for tape.
He looked at my vag and said "you have a nice situation down there. Good work"
There comes a time where you just have to sit back and watch the drunken idiots pee on each other
Pretty sure I picked a cat up off the street and took him home with me, fed him tuna, then let him go
I can't blame him for thinking that then, placing a cone shaped potato chip on the tip of his penis post bj is not a normal act of love
I just wish my penis was a person so I could give him a high five.
Jello shots? I thought you weren't drinking tonight.
Im not drinking im slurping
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
Randomize
