I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
I will show your tits more attention than Michael Jackson's death.
i would rather give Shaq a handjob than take this accounting final
That reminds me...we need to get swords
forced to watch US open for father's day. only perk is discovering dustin johnson...reeeeally hoping that this golf sex addiction thing is contagious
You both must have been completely wasted because every once in a while we would hear you both stop and start singing to each other. At one point it was taylor swift.
Just used water from the fish tank for the bong. Thank you fishy.
woke up to see a man wearing a sailor hat and covered in vomit sneaking out the door. Epic night indeed.
I NEED YOU TO TELL ME ITS OKAY TO BE THIS HIGH
Yes
O.K.
im in the library and there's this guy on a computer just staring at a google image of beer. finals week is rough.
I lost a whole day of my life. Apparemtly I was using my deodrant as a phone. And is my phone there?
I told him I felt we were at the point where if I saw him talking to another girl, I'd probably choke him out. So I guess you could say things are getting serious.
Get over here asap there are three naked girls two bottles of whiskey and only one of me
But then our conversations are like black box recordings. Just the stuff you hear when the plane is going down
Randomize
