Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
you fucked my boyfriend. margarita girls night will not fix this.
I think they called the cops after 15 minutes of you shaking their clothes line like the ultimate warrior and calling out hulk hogan
I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
took adderall before wrapping presents, ended up making paper snowflakes for two hours
my mom went out and bought me new sheets and redecorated my room. its like she's more excited for me to get laid tomorrow for the first time in two months than I am.
You are an awesome peach made of glitter.
I'm currently on an epic search all over the city for a drug store that isn't sold out of Plan B. I celebrated your birthday from afar.
Do u have any idea how hard it is to masturbate in a CVS bathroom when your name is being called over the speakers to pick up a prescription for painkillers?
"fuck it, let's do moonshine" shouldn't be in ANYONE'S vocabulary.
She grinded so hard on my face that I've got rugburn on both eyelids
he was just sitting there in his underwear... and his chewbacca mask...
My parents left me the house for the weekend...you know what that means?!
Harry Potter marathon and no pants.
She called a 10 year old handsome and we gave her a look that was equal parts confused and “what the hell is wrong with you”
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