He just told me he would murder a thousand dolphins to be with me. Quite the charmer.
I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
She was sleeping without a shirt so I thought I wouldI sneaked a peek at her nipples..than I realized they were just warts...on her back.
Oh no. He has the "I'm 30 years old and I just shit myself in public" face.
My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
if I see one grey pube I'm spitting his penis out!
You asked the officer if he could bring you to the same jail as T.I.
I'm still amazed at how you managed to puke in every plant on the whole top floor at the mall without a single person noticing and without missing a step.
Of course it's dangerous. Why else would they hire us after we failed the drug test?
there's unknown territories my dick was not made to discover
This theraflu would make for a great margarita.
I can make a sudafedarita
I feel like I just gave a blowjob to a freight train.
I AM HANGING OUT WITH ADORABLE DOGS SURROUNDED BY NATURE. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND ALSO BYE CIVILIZATION AND PANTS.
Are you at a park?
And also ice skating can blow me. Goodnight, love you!
well i can officially check "have sex in a prius" off my bucket list...
Randomize
