Why did we buy the only spinning apartment on campus?
dont ever smoke after you drink again... i dont think ive ever seen...or heard of someone throwing up and farting at the same time. that is, if you were farting.
every time I worry about a career mistake, I remember Michelle Pfeiffer did Grease 2.
Hes far too high and trying to explain daylight savings time to me. Help?
i literally would have sex with every single person on this girls wall, but not her
y-o-u-r-e = you are, y-o-u-r = your. you are a bag of douche not your bag of douche. if you're going to insult me at least do it in proper english. that is all.
nothing like morning wood sex at 4pm. funemployment ftw
For some reason there are two like 10 year old black girls crumping at the bar. I feel like I'm in a missy elliot video.
I definitely paid for a case and a fifth and all I got was 6 beers and a crown and coke. Wtf. Bar math sucks
For every drunk face picture you send me, I'm gonna send a wholesome family photo.
I mean he gave me an 'I owe you an orgasm' fist bump
So they just told me that while I was being loaded into the ambulance the cop told them if they were good friends they'd post it on Facebook...
The subtweets were good enough
People try and tell me I never learn me lesson, well that's a bunch of crap. I asked for Monday off for Superbowl recovery based on my experience last year.
Just for future reference. Do not do zumba while stoned out of your mind.
I’m pregaming Christmas shopping with grandma. What’s up?
Randomize
