the choice between paying your electricity bill and getting herpes medicine is a tough one.
It's not prostitution until you're out of college. Right now it's just strategic boning.
You fed me milk from the beer bong because you thought it would "Sober you up" .
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
Just fucking put out. It'll be a good lay, promise. Stop being a prude. Damn it. A boy is trying to put his penis in you. APPRECIATE IT.
I called him and he said hell call me back hes in the middle of his kareokee song he was out by himself and his dog
There is an alarming amount of urine in here.
You were typing for me while I was hyperventilating into a paper bag on the floor.
Blacking out is all I've done this year and we're only 3 days in. Checkmate bitch.
earned some solid air miles from the plan B I just bought. #silverlinings
apparently i came home last night raving about goats and singing songs from muppet treasure island
I yelled out "blow jobs!" in my macroeconomics class. Ask me more about how my life is spiraling out of control.
On a brighter more disgusting note...... I think I just shart myself but I'm too afraid to find out.
Mass text: You have all failed me. How have the people I loved so much let me go so long in life without ever eating a McRib sandwich?!
Did u find my other sock in your bra? U said u were uneven so I did the gentlemanly thing.
Randomize
