just ate pastrami before passing out in my hotel room. My room smells like a petting zoo
Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
I am choosing my outfit based on how fast I can get it off. Please help.
we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
apparently he was unaware pussies come in unshaved form. curse you redtube and your unholy lies
I decided that I do the same thing when i'm drunk with every guy who has a girlfriend...lecture them on how bad cheating is, then hook up with them. I'm like good cop, bad cop.
I'm going to make "gut the love salmon" a common slang term for sex. Spread the word.
I hit a child with a fudge sickle from a moving vehicle after he flipped me off, I feel like a God. Tell no one. My partner didn't see it.
We should give each other good-luck-on-your-finals head in the morning.
Dude I woke up and he was pissing in the corner on his clothes... I called his name an he replied " I got this" and continued.
This is why people in Buffalo die of heart attacks. This and wings
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
i woke up in just my thong, face first on my bed with all the lights on. how hungover do you think i felt?
You literally snort drugs up your nose and you’re questioning the brand of the multivitamin right now?
Vocabulary what?!? Shakespeare is my bitch.
Randomize
