just got drunk at a party with Christmas themed solo cups.. holidays are officially here.
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
Of course... Double fistin nati light cuz the powers out and it cuts down the times i gotta open the fridge... Genius
I didn't want to have to tell you this, violating our brother/sister code not to discuss these things but: for the love of christ stop inviting that 21 year old idiot I slept with for six months to EVERY PARTY WE THROW.
You won’t make it to November. A 21st bday and Halloween in the same night has shitshow/ jail written all over it. So I call dibs on that tall guy
Well my door is unlocked for you, I'll be in the bathtub drinking a pre-mixed bottle of margarita until I forget the degree to which my life sucks.
They made the rule if I caught the ball with my cleavage they would drink the entire beer pong table. I don't think they expected me to actually do it.
I complimented him on his choice of carpeting while he was humping me.
it's like getting dryhumped by a chainsaw in the very best possible way
at least I have the sex noises of his roommate to entertain me while I wait for him to wake up
A blind man just put his face in my cleavage. I'm also crying.
He can only pee with the faucet running. It's like I'm dating a fucking toddler.
Master Skywalker, there are too many of them. What am I going to do?
Hit on the one in the red shorts. The thirst is strong with this one.
I was drunk and really grossed out when you poured cheese on me and, I guess I just freaked out.
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
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