We saw a kid playing in poison ivy. We walked away, he'll learn his lesson.
We need to talk about our relationship.
I just won a bet involving 10 tequila shots. You've got about 3 minutes
why is there cat hair all over my deoderant?
she wanted to smell more freshershest than you.
No more tipping the bathroom attendant with your phone.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural
Boob shaped ice luge is ordered for my bday. Boom
I can't even drink.
The liquor comes out the nipples. Out. The. Nipples.
We went from zero to drunk tank in 45 minutes.
I'm running on two hours of sleep, a shot of vodka, and half of a granola bar. I can't be held responsible for what I do.
I can't even masturbate without crying fuck this break up
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Looking for my adderal, only found acid. What a shame
Nothing like a little chlamydia diagnosis to ring in the new year
I just want you to make me second guess my worth as a human. Is that too much to ask?
I had a dream that you were telling me how good you are at parkour and legit you were doing it just like Michael Scott...
Naptime over. I've got fresh contacts and tequila. RAAAAAAGE!
Was it a bad idea to have spent all of my tax return on coke?
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